I'm trying to love my body. But I think I'm doing it wrong. All of these years, I've been thinking that I need to love the way it looks. That I need to be proud of this weight I've gained that won't go away. I've been buying clothes that "make me feel good". I've been planning trips and taking pictures - like photo shoot pictures.
But I've realized this morning that I've been doing this all wrong. I've been focusing on what it looks like instead of what it can do. Don't get me wrong, I have had moments of clarity in appreciating what it can do, how it moves and functions. But they were few and far between, muddled with conditions, misunderstandings and deafening passivity.
(Sorry - if this seems jumbled - but I'm kind of thinking out loud here.)
This morning, I've been thinking about how my body works. I've been reading a book called Woman Code by Alisa Vitti which talks about how to eat to balance your hormones during the female monthly hormone cycle. This information has blown my mind and really opened my eyes to how it feels to be intuitive about your body. And also, it gives you permission to work with your body using your intuition. It's amazing. Who knew that we would ever need permission to listen to our bodies?? But you do.
In today's world, we need permission to do everything. To love ourselves at larger sizes, to eat food that makes our bodies feel good without explanation/excuse, to do exercises that allow our bodies to bloom in function and release stress. It's a lot (for lack of a better term) and puts immense pressure on us to conform to a worldly standard. It's weird. Instead of looking at a larger body and saying, something is off within your system to allow you to maintain an unhealthy weight, we look at them and say "ew, fat! gross!" It's so odd to me. Our bodies are amazing! They tell us what they want, what they need and what kills it. We just don't listen.
Today, I'm making the pledge to turn off the tv, shut down social media and focus on myself. I want to know myself intimately. I want my body and mind to be so connected that I can immediately tell when I've eaten something that doesn't agree with me, but also know what types of foods allow my body to thrive. I invite you to do the same. Maybe we'll spark a revolution!
