today on the way to work i started thinking about church and God and what i was looking for. you know, why i categorize myself as a christian. i started thinking about the difference between being religious and being a christian and if there even was a difference. there is.
i go to church and read my bible because i just truly want to know who God is and what He wants from us. I want to understand him just like I understand my dad. I want to talk to him just like I can talk to my brother. i want to come to Him with my bad day just like i do with my mother and cut up with Him like i would my best friend. i want to know who He is. not just what He says not to do. i think that's what being a christian is about. it's not about rules because those were thrown out the window when Jesus came. it's not about "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth" either. it's about loving your neighbor as yourself.
then, i began thinking about purpose. what is my purpose? what is your purpose? it came to me as quickly as the question popped into my head.
to breathe life.
at first, i didn't know what that meant. but i think i get it now. it's what the heart of christianity is comprised of. we are to breathe life into the world. my favorite phrase used to be "i can't be the Holy Spirit for you!" when people (that i was irritated with mostly) repeatedly asked me to be someone they could confide in or to give them verses to keep their anxiety at bay - i would toss that phrase over my shoulder at them and continue with whatever cause i thought took precedence over their insecurities, sin confessions, pleas for advice - whatever.
today, the gravity of how wrong that was, hit me like a ton of bricks. being the Holy Spirit for people is what breathes life into people. it is the very thing that we are called to do. we are called to be confidants for those with the worst shame and secrets, we are called to feed and clothe the poor, shelter the homeless, listen to the outrageous, love the unlovable...to pay attention to the neglected. we are to be God to the godless.
that's what christianity is about.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
stirring up grace and mercy - Jan 3
there's something stirring in my heart today. i've been preaching to myself all morning. in emails to others and conversations with myself about things that need to be done. apparently God has some things that i need to take care of.
1. be purposeful
- not just in the way of making plans for your life because i don't really do that. because i suck at it. if i make the plan, it's going to be broken. i'm a floater. i float through life. it's just how i'm made. i'm pretty flexible when i have the resources needed to make things happen. but it can be a blessing and a curse. a blessing in that i'm a little more flexible. i can roll with the punches without worrying too much how we're going to get to the finish line. i just know we'll make it. a curse in that i'm unstable. there is hardly ever a set plan and it tends to exhaust me completely when i have to be structured for any length of time.
it's more of a call to be mindful of how you affect the people in your life with what you were created to do.
that's huge. so many people claim that they don't know what they want to do with their lives. i don't think that's true. i think they're just caught between money and their hearts. i know i have been. i love talking to people, hearing their stories and helping them heal. that's what i was put here to do. breathe life into people. nothing about that reads: money. NOTHING. at least not where i want to be - in the trenches with the foulest, smelliest, worst offenders of life. the people that have no hope, no help, and no way of living on their own. that is who i am, that is what i must do.
2. grace and mercy
- 2013 is the year of grace and mercy for me. it's time to love myself. not in an instinctual, self-serving way. in a way that means that i do what's best for myself most of the time, treat myself some of the time and just really appreciate and respect myself all of the time. if i can do that for me, imagine how i would move through life treating others. if i would give myself the grace and mercy to make mistakes, life would be so much easier to maneuver. God would be much easier to understand and see on a regular basis. love would be so much easier to freely give. when you operate in grace and mercy, broken hearts aren't always weak, sad vessels. sometimes they are strong and caring - just a little disappointed.
3. be still
- let things settle in your spirit. whether it's a sunrise, a good word in church, an encouragement from a friend, a good song - take a moment and let them marinate. hear it. receive it. those are the moments that make life beautiful. those moments when you see who God is through nature and people. soak it in and love Him back
1. be purposeful
- not just in the way of making plans for your life because i don't really do that. because i suck at it. if i make the plan, it's going to be broken. i'm a floater. i float through life. it's just how i'm made. i'm pretty flexible when i have the resources needed to make things happen. but it can be a blessing and a curse. a blessing in that i'm a little more flexible. i can roll with the punches without worrying too much how we're going to get to the finish line. i just know we'll make it. a curse in that i'm unstable. there is hardly ever a set plan and it tends to exhaust me completely when i have to be structured for any length of time.
it's more of a call to be mindful of how you affect the people in your life with what you were created to do.
that's huge. so many people claim that they don't know what they want to do with their lives. i don't think that's true. i think they're just caught between money and their hearts. i know i have been. i love talking to people, hearing their stories and helping them heal. that's what i was put here to do. breathe life into people. nothing about that reads: money. NOTHING. at least not where i want to be - in the trenches with the foulest, smelliest, worst offenders of life. the people that have no hope, no help, and no way of living on their own. that is who i am, that is what i must do.
2. grace and mercy
- 2013 is the year of grace and mercy for me. it's time to love myself. not in an instinctual, self-serving way. in a way that means that i do what's best for myself most of the time, treat myself some of the time and just really appreciate and respect myself all of the time. if i can do that for me, imagine how i would move through life treating others. if i would give myself the grace and mercy to make mistakes, life would be so much easier to maneuver. God would be much easier to understand and see on a regular basis. love would be so much easier to freely give. when you operate in grace and mercy, broken hearts aren't always weak, sad vessels. sometimes they are strong and caring - just a little disappointed.
3. be still
- let things settle in your spirit. whether it's a sunrise, a good word in church, an encouragement from a friend, a good song - take a moment and let them marinate. hear it. receive it. those are the moments that make life beautiful. those moments when you see who God is through nature and people. soak it in and love Him back
2013 Grace and Mercy
i have felt that this is the year of grace and mercy in my life. it was so profound. one day i was so tired, tragic and feeling like i was on the edge of a cliff all of the time. then the next day i had peace, rest and grace. it happened overnight - and it was so shocking. so much so that i kept telling me in a surprised way that i felt "so much better than i have in years!" well, i think i'm on the brink of something.
i was in a training for my job yesterday when i received a phone call telling me to look into what grace meant for me. little did the person know, i'd already looked it up and just wasn't finding the definition really. which is so weird. but i looked again this morning and wow, God is chasing me down. grace and mercy are chasing me down this year. i've broken down the definitions below - i need to not only exhibit grace and mercy to others but also to myself. it's time.
grace: unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration and sactification.
- unmerited = undeserved
- divine = godly
- assistance = help
- regeneration = regrowing/growing again
- sanctification = to make holy
- holy = to set apart for God
so in layman's terms, grace is underserved help that God gives to humans to help set them apart for Him and also help them grow again. i can't even get into how profound this is for me this morning.
now for mercy.
mercy: compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm
- compassion = pity or concern for the suffering and misfortune of others
- forgiveness = to give up resentment
so in layman's terms, mercy is when you give up resentment toward, have pity on and are concerned about the suffering and misfortune of someone whom it is within your power to punish.
my new year's resolution this year was to love myself better - not more, just better. i love myself but i don't treat myself very well on a regular basis. and right now, honestly i'm wounded. i would love to say that all of the wounds and festering sores are from the abuse and words that have cut me as they've come into my life and heart straight from other people's lips. however, it's my fault that i've let those things infect my soul and spirit. i'm festering because i took their words and actions and believed their untruths. grace and mercy tell me that it's time to stop that. that it's time to believe that what God says about me is true and that perfection is not only required, it's secondary to love and the other fruits of the spirit.
love yourself. protect yourself. forgive yourself. take care of yourself.
those are my goals. they should be yours as well.
i was in a training for my job yesterday when i received a phone call telling me to look into what grace meant for me. little did the person know, i'd already looked it up and just wasn't finding the definition really. which is so weird. but i looked again this morning and wow, God is chasing me down. grace and mercy are chasing me down this year. i've broken down the definitions below - i need to not only exhibit grace and mercy to others but also to myself. it's time.
grace: unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration and sactification.
- unmerited = undeserved
- divine = godly
- assistance = help
- regeneration = regrowing/growing again
- sanctification = to make holy
- holy = to set apart for God
so in layman's terms, grace is underserved help that God gives to humans to help set them apart for Him and also help them grow again. i can't even get into how profound this is for me this morning.
now for mercy.
mercy: compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm
- compassion = pity or concern for the suffering and misfortune of others
- forgiveness = to give up resentment
so in layman's terms, mercy is when you give up resentment toward, have pity on and are concerned about the suffering and misfortune of someone whom it is within your power to punish.
my new year's resolution this year was to love myself better - not more, just better. i love myself but i don't treat myself very well on a regular basis. and right now, honestly i'm wounded. i would love to say that all of the wounds and festering sores are from the abuse and words that have cut me as they've come into my life and heart straight from other people's lips. however, it's my fault that i've let those things infect my soul and spirit. i'm festering because i took their words and actions and believed their untruths. grace and mercy tell me that it's time to stop that. that it's time to believe that what God says about me is true and that perfection is not only required, it's secondary to love and the other fruits of the spirit.
love yourself. protect yourself. forgive yourself. take care of yourself.
those are my goals. they should be yours as well.
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