today on the way to work i started thinking about church and God and what i was looking for. you know, why i categorize myself as a christian. i started thinking about the difference between being religious and being a christian and if there even was a difference. there is.
i go to church and read my bible because i just truly want to know who God is and what He wants from us. I want to understand him just like I understand my dad. I want to talk to him just like I can talk to my brother. i want to come to Him with my bad day just like i do with my mother and cut up with Him like i would my best friend. i want to know who He is. not just what He says not to do. i think that's what being a christian is about. it's not about rules because those were thrown out the window when Jesus came. it's not about "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth" either. it's about loving your neighbor as yourself.
then, i began thinking about purpose. what is my purpose? what is your purpose? it came to me as quickly as the question popped into my head.
to breathe life.
at first, i didn't know what that meant. but i think i get it now. it's what the heart of christianity is comprised of. we are to breathe life into the world. my favorite phrase used to be "i can't be the Holy Spirit for you!" when people (that i was irritated with mostly) repeatedly asked me to be someone they could confide in or to give them verses to keep their anxiety at bay - i would toss that phrase over my shoulder at them and continue with whatever cause i thought took precedence over their insecurities, sin confessions, pleas for advice - whatever.
today, the gravity of how wrong that was, hit me like a ton of bricks. being the Holy Spirit for people is what breathes life into people. it is the very thing that we are called to do. we are called to be confidants for those with the worst shame and secrets, we are called to feed and clothe the poor, shelter the homeless, listen to the outrageous, love the unlovable...to pay attention to the neglected. we are to be God to the godless.
that's what christianity is about.
