today was the wake for my uncle. apparently, "wake" is another term for funeral. so sad. i cried and cried and cried. everytime i thought i was done, the tears would start again. i think i was crying for others we'd lost years ago that i'd never completely mourned. so i feel better now. i'm glad his suffering is over. i'm glad we loved him. i'm glad he loved us. i'm glad our family functions as it does. we take others in and love them as though they've always been a part of us. it's a legacy that i hope lives on in our family. my uncle did that a lot. taking people in as his own. my dad does that too. i'll never know how many people were affected by them. even in death we can't get a toll of how many people my uncle has affected. what a great man. so weird that we won't hear his voice or smell his cologne anymore. but okay at the same time.

now if we can make it through the funeral on saturday...

so a few things have transpired since i last posted. i've been through three intermediate relationships (drama, ok, so not really, but they didn't go anywhere so...), i've moved to the City, and found out some news about my family. my uncle has been really sick for a while now. kidney issues, viruses, and "stuff"... i talked to my mom the other night and apparently the doctors haven't given him long to live. then my aunt found a lump on her neck (i think) and had it biopsied to find that it is cancerous. she'd had breast cancer when i was in the 5th or 7th grade - can't remember which one. so my mom is a mess right now. so if y'all could be praying for them and her, i would appreciate it. i was flying home this weekend to go to my little brother's graduation, but now i'm going to have to extend my stay (work-willing) to help my mom with some things. she's stressed, overwhelmed, and trying to be everything to everyone (strong, God, encouraging...). so hopefully, I can stay long enough to lend her some support and take her mind off of things a little.

that's all i've got for right now.