my last post was a little depressing but totally what i was feeling at the time. i haven't been crying much but was totally in the midst of a downpour that day. today i feel strong and myself. that day, i felt weak and so small. i'm living a life of complete dichotomy and it's annoying. esp for someone who analyzes everything such as i do.

so i've been thinking about my life. what i want to do. where i want to go. where i want to be. love and how i feel about it. it's getting cold now - time to couple up and hibernate. i need activity. i need to not sit in my apt twiddling my thumbs. life is too short. i feel like i've been wasting time. i've always got have a goal. i need to always be working toward something - some sort of goal and...i have nothing. i've been wracking my brain and wracking my brain and haven't been able to come up with anything.

so my next goal is to figure out what my next goal is.