today was the wake for my uncle. apparently, "wake" is another term for funeral. so sad. i cried and cried and cried. everytime i thought i was done, the tears would start again. i think i was crying for others we'd lost years ago that i'd never completely mourned. so i feel better now. i'm glad his suffering is over. i'm glad we loved him. i'm glad he loved us. i'm glad our family functions as it does. we take others in and love them as though they've always been a part of us. it's a legacy that i hope lives on in our family. my uncle did that a lot. taking people in as his own. my dad does that too. i'll never know how many people were affected by them. even in death we can't get a toll of how many people my uncle has affected. what a great man. so weird that we won't hear his voice or smell his cologne anymore. but okay at the same time.

now if we can make it through the funeral on saturday...